Bet Hedged on Happiness

It’s sunny, I’m stormy. My mind is raining as warmth soaks skin. Puddles pool in eyes as pool brims with laughter. I’m swimming in tears as children grapple with pool toys. A blissful frolic.  Sprinklers are danced under. Picnic rugs bare crumbs and little ones.
Smiles seen not felt. Giggles heard, not caught.
I’m playing catch. A game of too and fro with pity. Giver and receiver.  My party. A pool party for that matter…
I’m asking why? Why do tears well in my eyes as watermelon drips from stranger’s grins.  As painted toes plunge into a blue too blue to be the ocean. Not my toes. Not my plunge.
I need to taste what I envy. A glutton for pain is not me. Can’t be me. Won’t be me.
Dipping toes, an attempt to shed woes.
I want to jump in! Swim! Blend tears with pool. Attend their party, not mine.
With happiness at stake, I taste. Let melon drip while toes dip. Hedging my bet on a better tomorrow. One in pools, not shedding them. I gamble with happiness. I hedge my bets on no regrets. All in.
Sadness will have to wait because life doesn’t.

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