That Sensory Sickness

My head is in overload. My eyes have become acutely attuned to each granule within the colored spectrum. Light no longer travels in rays. Each pigment vibrates, dancing its distraction. Walls, tables, and ceilings are a mosaic of buzzing pixels.

bright light by light-from-Emirates
Bright Lights by Light from Emirates

Sounds are heard everywhere but nowhere. There is a ring doused upon passing time. Noises are caught with precision, the sound bites however, are jigsaw pieces belonging to an unsolvable puzzle.

Darkness is coveted. Emersion in a blackened sanctuary however, does not extinguish the clutter. Dim light just enhances my ears prickability. Darkness holds no remedy. Its presence just seems to saturate my other 4 senses with visual obscurity.

The sound of my clothing grazing my body has me diving for the best Polyblend fabric my meager fashion allowance can buy. Clothing tags are snipped prior to their assault. All apparel is washed pre-wear to decrease the “new smell” and “new wear” sensory pungency. Fashion is a constant battle between comfort and conformity.

big_sweater_days__by_pentelka
Sweater Days By Pentelka

Life needs a muzzle. Noise canceling headphones are worn with no music playing in an attempt to mute life. My eyes squint, my skin prickles, my breaths pause, my ears clench. This is survival.

Life is spent fighting for a livelihood. I am constantly seeking a state of functional sensory dysfunction. Years of hypervigilance and perpetual agitation have allowed me to master the art of infiltration without explosion. Millions of children are living in a heighten sense of reality. Help them make sense of it.

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10 thoughts on “That Sensory Sickness

  1. septembersrose

    Some days I wish there could be more attention paid to this. Almost every single day I have a serious case of sensory overload. It’s not pleasant. Hives suck and my family doesn’t like to be pushed away because they’re overwhelming me. And very few people understand it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This really deep and brings a lot of awareness. I agree words can help us win this struggle and bring awareness to others. We also have to enlighten the ones that willfully close their ears and eyes…by continuing to speak up and speak out…especially for the ones…who don’t have a voice or have been silenced by oppression or suppression. Thanks for not keeping silent. Peace and Love to you☆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is futility in the intensity of sensation which mandates withdrawal for survival. Sensory processing dysfunction is a repressive beast. Kids on the Autism Spectrum experience Sensory Processing difficulties with greater frequency and intensity than any other population. Awareness is key to understanding behavior. Thank you for your comment and for reflecting on my words.

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      1. Think too, about the variable sensitivity to and avoidance from and seeking out of stimulation by society. Some clusters of people seek out stimulation, talk, ideas, and other clusters of people shrink away in a kind of pain from interaction and interdependence. Biologically, the threshold is set early, and regulates fitfully.

        Liked by 1 person

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